Tadpole's Outdoor Blog

May 17, 2012

On The Bright Side – Mary Howell – May 16, 2012


The month of May has been designated as Older American’s Month to give honor to those of us who have reached fifty-five years or older.


Senior citizens make up a large majority of our national population.  We outnumber the younger generation.


Although some people think senior citizens just sit in our rocking chairs and twiddle our thumbs,  I’m here to tell you that is not true anymore.  We laugh and cry.  Some still go to work in their 70’s, 80’s and even 90’s. We still go to church and most older folks are more faithful in church than the younger generations are.  We’ re not afraid to speak up.  We speak our mind even though sometimes our brain doesn’t work right.  Some folks can’t remember what happened five minutes ago while others can tell about things that happened to them 70 or 80 years ago.  I recently overheard two gentlemen talking before Sunday morning worship services.  One made a remark,” If I’d known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself”.  The other fellow smiled and said “I wouldn’t change a thing, I had too much fun getting here”. 


Senior citizens do not take life for granted. They enjoy every day that God gives to them.


My Dad, who lived to be 98, always laughed when he told this little joke.  An older fellow attended a graveside service for a friend.  A young fellow walked up to his elderly friend and asked “How old are you?”  The older fellow in  a shaky voice replied, “I’m ninety-seven”.  His young friend thought a minute and then said “Well I guess there’s not much use in your going back home.”


I like the saying, Lord let me live as long as I am alive.  Every day a senior citizen lives could be a blessing to others and a day on the bright side.


May 16, 2012

December 8, 2010

On the Bright Side -Mary Howell -12/8/2010

On The Bright Side

Mary Howell


Upon the request of Freddie Keel, Neal Murphy, my brother-in-law, and I are happy to show the humor of my Dad, Bro. Clarence Howell.  The following stories, jokes and one-liners are taken from the book, From The Heart of Country Preacher.

One day a city slicker met an old farmer pulling a large chain. The city boy asked the farmer, “Why are you pulling a chain?”  The farmer replied, “have you ever tried to PUSH one?”


Two fishermen were sitting on a pier with their legs dangling in the water. Suddenly one of them yelled, “Oh! An alligator bit off one of my legs!”  The other asks, “Which one?” Replied the stricken fisherman, “I don’t know. All alligators look alike to me”.


A visitor to the county stopped at a country store, went in and inquired of the owner, “Do you know a man with one leg named Brown?”  thinking for a moment, the owner replied, “Don’t believe so.  What was the name of his other leg?”


An old man was bragging to his friend, “My wife is so good to me.  She treats me like a little god.   She is always bringing me burnt offerings.”


An old couple was in their rocking chairs on their back porch.  The old lady said, “Honey, today is our fifty-sixth wedding anniversary.  I reckon we should kill the old red rooster.  The husband replied, “Oh no, he wasn’t to blame for it.”


An old man was skipping down the sidewalk.  His friends asked him, “What are you doing?”  He replied, “I just went to the doctor and he told me to take my pills for three days, then skip a day.  Today is my day to skip.”


The town drunk was weaving down the country road with a rope in hand.  Someone asked him, “Why are you carrying that piece of rope?’  The drunk replied, “I am trying to remember if I found this rope or if I lost my cow”.


An old man fell asleep during his pastor’s long , long sermon.  When he began to snore his friend, who was in the pew behind him popped him over the head with a hymnal. The old fellow roused up and said, “”Hit me again, I can still hear him.”


In regards to the statement, “Where there is a will, there is a way.”  Bro. Howell added, “Where there is a will, there is also a relative.”


After standing in line for almost two hours at a community-wide oyster supper,  Bro. Howell overheard the ticket cashier ask someone ahead of him, “Adult or Child?”.  Bro. Howell quipped, “Well, if we had been children at the foot of the line we would be adults by now.”


A group of mourners were gathered at the graveside after their friend’s funeral. A young fellow walked up to an elderly humpbacked gentleman and inquired, “Just how old are you?”  In a shaky voice the old man replied, “I’m ninety seven.”  “The young man thought a minute and said, “Well, it’s not much use in you going back home.”


1.Those who are hard-of-hearing are often near the back of the church.

2. People who pay the least sometimes want the largest church.

3. The person who attends church the least may want the most attention       when he is sick.

4. The person who is not known for being friendly is usually ready to give advice on how to welcome visitors.

5.  People who give little to support a pastor usually yell when the preacher cannot meet his financial obligations.


Biography for Mary Howell

Mary Howell is a cerebral palsied quadriplegic who has resided at Hemphill Care Center in Hemphill, Texas since November, 2009.  She lived with her parents until their deaths and then lived in her home with 24/7 caregivers.  Mary has spent her life turning defeat into victory.  Her determination and strong faith in God have been an inspiration to all who know her.

Mary attended Hemphill High School, Wharton Junior College and served as the Editor of the Sabine County Reporter.  She has received numerous awards from the Texas Press Women and the Texas Press Association. for her writing.  Mary wrote and published her autobiography in 2007, Life On The Bright Side.

She has received various awards for her services in the community. She was named as an outstanding citizen, communicator of achievement, and Texas Handicapped Professional Woman of the Year in 1986.  She was among the “Nine Who Make A Difference” selected by KTRE-TV in 1986..

Mary’s love for God makes the difference in her life, enabling her to turn sadness into happiness and apparent defeat into victory.

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