Tadpole's Outdoor Blog

April 14, 2013

Life In The South‏

Filed under: Misc — Freddie Keel @ 6:06 am

Alabama

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting

and paired off in twos for the day.

That night, one of the hunters returned alone,

staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.

“Where’s Henry?” the others asked.

“Henry had a stroke o’ some kind.

He’s a couple of miles back up the trail,”

the successful hunter replied.

“You left Henry out there and carried the deer back?”

they inquired.

“Tough call,” nodded the hunter.

“I figured no one’s gonna steal Henry!”

Georgia

The owner of a golf course in Georgia was

confused about paying an invoice,

so he decided to ask his secretary for

some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said:

“Y’all graduated from the University of Georgia

and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew

$20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?”

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied:

“Everthang but my earrings.”

 

Louisiana

A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying …

“When the end of the world comes,

I hope to be in Louisiana .”

When asked why, he replied: “I’d rather be in Louisiana

’cause every thang happens in Louisiana

20 years later than in the rest of the world.”


Mississippi

The young man from Mississippi came running

into the store and said to his buddy:

“Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup

truck from the parking lot!”

Bubba replied: “Did y’all see who it was?”

The young man answered:

“I couldn’t tell, but I got the license number.”


North Carolina

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire,

pulled off on the side of the road, and

proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in

front of the car and one behind it.

Then he got back in the car to wait.

A passerby studied the scene as he drove by,

and was so curious he turned around and went back.

He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied: “I got a flat tahr.”

The passerby asked: “But what’s with the flowers?”

The man responded: “When you break down they tell

you to put flares in the front and flares in the back.

I never did understand it neither.”

Tennessee

A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65.

The trooper asked: “Got any ID?”

The driver replied: “Bout whut?”


Texas

The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading

garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch.

The Sheriff asked: “Why are you dumping

garbage in the ditch? Don’t you see that

sign right over your head.”

“Yep,” he replied. “That’s why I’m dumpin’ it here,

’cause it says:

‘Fine For Dumping Garbage.’ “

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