Tadpole's Outdoor Blog

January 27, 2013

“THE REDNECK’S MEDICAL DICTIONARY” BY: NEAL MURPHY – January 27, 2013

Filed under: Neal Murphy — Freddie Keel @ 6:07 am

 

 

Yes,  “rednecks” have their own definition and spelling of the English Language.  No where is it more evident than medical terminology.  The following is a list of the most common definitions used.

Artery –  The study of paintings.

Bacteria –  The back door of a cafeteria.

Barium –  What doctors do when patients die.

Caesarean Section – A neighborhood in Rome, Italy.

Cat Scan –  Searching for a kitty.

Cauterize –  Made eye contact with her.

Colic –  A sheep dog.

D&C –  Where Washington is located.

Dilate –  To live long.

Enema –  Not a friend.

Fester –  Quicker.

Genital –  Not  a Jew.

G. I. Series –  A soldier ball game.

Impotent –  Distinguished, well known.

Labor Pain –  Getting hurt at work.

Nitrates –  Cheaper than day rates.

Node –  Was aware of.

Outpatient –  A patient who fainted.

Pap smear –  A fatherhood test.

Pelvis –  A cousin of Elvis.

Postoperative –  A letter carrier.

Rectum –  Dang near killed ‘em.

Seizure –   A Roman emperor.

Terminal Illness –   Getting sick at the airport.

Tumor –  More than one.

Urine –  Opposite of you’re out.

Varicose –  Nearby.

So, there you have it.  A sampling of words in the redneck medical dictionary.  Let me know if you have any to contribute.

++++

“THE  REDNECK’S  MEDICAL  DICTIONARY”

 

BY: NEAL MURPHY

 

P.O. BOX 511

107 HEMLOCK  STREET

SAN AUGUSTINE,  TX 75972

936-275-9033

Cell: 936-275-9033

Email: sugarbear@netdot.com

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