Tadpole's Outdoor Blog

September 21, 2012

The story behind “Billy-Bob Teeth”.

Filed under: Misc — Freddie Keel @ 6:49 am

It was the noted churchman, the Rev. Mr. Paul D. Frazier, Pastor of the First Presbyterian Church down the road in Hardin, who warned Jonah White that the market for “Billy-Bob Teeth” was likely to be limited.  I said, ‘How many people are there who want to make themselves look like an inbred country moron?’ ” said Pastor Paul, whose wife, Smokin’ Joan Frazier, has long sworn her husband is my long lost twin. “I figured he’d sell 5,000, 6000 units, tops.”

That was in 1995 or so, several million pair of $10 Billy-Bob Teeth ago, before the gag teeth made Jonah White a wealthy man, before White went to Australia hawking Billy-Bob Teeth and fell in love, before White put Pastor Paul on an ATV and hauled him deep into woods to his deer-hunting tree stand (the three-story one with indoor plumbing and solar batteries to provide electricity and hot water) where Pastor Paul performed the wedding ceremony for Jonah and Renee.

It was before Jonah White bought the 500 acres of Calhoun County woods where he built his dream house, the one made of huge Tamarack logs hauled in from the Pacific Northwest, the one with the tree in the middle with the raccoon on it, the one with the Lucite wet bar encasing the first pair of Billy-Bob Teeth that Jonah and his dentist partner ever made, not to mention Renee’s first pair and the kids’ first pairs, the ones that came on the first Billy-Bob pacifier. The first vampire teeth are there, too, and the first pair of licensed Austin Powers teeth.

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